Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
