just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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