Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize