Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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