Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize