Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
it was like eating out sand paper
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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