He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
