just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
