I am puke
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
