so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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