I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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