Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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