Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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