Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
