she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
