Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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