I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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