He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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