there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
