You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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