Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
