I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
