I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
