can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
