I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
