just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
