Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
