well you can't waste a boner
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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