My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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