marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
