yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
