In the future we'll all be gay
You smell like stripper and shame
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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