and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
