I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
