she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
