i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
