just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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