some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
