so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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