Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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