Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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