Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize