i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
