is your mom at the bar?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
