Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There r osticjed everywhere
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
