I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
