Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
