Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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