It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
