i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So much rum. So many feels.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
