Plan B is the new Plan A
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
