dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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