have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
operation harelip BJ is a go
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
