Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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