did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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