Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
