So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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