Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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