He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
