can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
