I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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