I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
