I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
