Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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